Please let me preface this by saying my mom is a well-educated, well-read individual. But, today she started forwarding me articles with titles like "Why Hospitals Are So Risky"! So I called her - and there she was, on the computer - to tell her to quit it, or else. Here is an excerpt from our conversation (I swear this is not doctored and took place):Mom: Does Dr. _____ where a tie?
Me: I don't know, why?
Mom: Does he wear a tie? You have to make sure he tucks his tie in.
Me: What?!
Mom: When he operates, make sure he tucks his tie in. So it's not dangling into your abdomen during surgery!!
Me: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Surgeons wear SCRUBS! They do not wear suits to the OR!Mom: Just make sure! I was just reading about that!!!
Me: Um, are you serious? He will wear scrubs and scrub in.
Mom: Well, House wears suits sometimes.
Me: Oh my god, you mean, House on TV?!!! As in, House the TV SHOW?!
Mom: Yes!
Me: (incredulous) House is a tv character! He doesn't even play a surgeon! I can't talk about this anymore. I have to go.
::Click.::
I swear this woman has a master's and gets most of the Jeopardy answers correct, but....MY GOD.
(Mom, if you are reading this, I mean this all in good fun and love. But....still!!!)
Photo: Look at that tie! Trying to be innocent!
Okay, this just begs a response, and I can't type fast enough. The pain in your belly is obviously muddling your brain!! Of course surgeons wear scrubs when operating--WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, A DIMWIT?? (and GRAMMAR GURU was quiet recently, but please correct that "when he operations..."). I was talking about drs. wearing ties when they visit you in your hospital room! If ties are not secured with a tie tack, or covered with a white coat, they can flop free on patients while the dr. is examing them, and collect all kinds of bacteria--MRSA, E. coli, staphlacoccus aureus etc. etc. and spread from one patient to another. Ties are vectors of disease! Do you want other patients' germs burrowing into your incision? "C'mon guys, over here, fresh meat--let's party!" I DON'T THINK SO! This topic was covered by Dr. Mahmet Oz on Oprah recently,and hospital-aquired infections are a serious matter. I made the comparison to the tv character House because he always looks scruffy, wears ties, and doesn't wash his hands before examining patients!
ReplyDeleteAlso, the article I emailed you was READ THIS BEFORE YOU GO TO THE HOSPITAL, and for readers so inclined, you may find it on health.com (July/Aug 2008). Additionally, I also sent you stuff from the Joint Commission, comparing Bryn Mawr to Paoli Hospital, and, I should let everyone know they are both magnet hospitals, meaning the nurses are happy! Didn't you read any of this stuff?!
Lastly, that photo is not one of an innocent tie. Look at some of the smilys with the red tongues hanging out. Case closed. Mom
Aww... 'Mom'... don't scare her, she's probably already out of her mind with nerves!!
ReplyDelete*tsk* Articles about risky hospitals?? You should be sending her articles about Crohn's surgery success stories! Or better yet, just little notes that say "Mom loves Kathryn" and that's it. Then you can park yourself at the side of her hospital bed and flag down any doctors with dangly ties.
You'll be fine girl, evil ties and all!
*laughs*
Thank you, Bright Side. I am glad I have an advocate here, as my mom has gone off the deep end with this tie nonsense. ha ha.
ReplyDeleteI want to talk about serious issues! Like, mom, are you going to bring me a present in the hospital? I like books, pretty stationary, and my favorite color is plum. Also you can sneak in some chocolates - don't tell the doc!!! Thanks! Bwhaha!
My main concern, Kathryn, is not presents or chocolate, but to run interference for you when I'm there (and making sure docs wash their hands and have secured ties) and to make nice with the nurses. I'm thinking I could bring in a nice pastry tray for the staff, I'm sure they'll appreciate that. Also, please ask Matt if he has any special requests for dinners. He likes my sausage lasagna, and I'm thinking Greek chicken, maybe something homey like meatloaf and mac and cheese, or some Thai dishes (do you have coconut milk?). As an extra special treat, I will prepare BLACK BEAN SALSA DOGS!!
ReplyDeleteMatt also requests a pineapple upside down cake. He still talks about the one you made a couple months ago.
ReplyDeleteAnd please...black bean salsa dogs are not permitted in my house!! Enough!
Kathryn, I haven't had the pleasure of getting to know your Mom, but I'm really enjoying her posts. She sounds smart and spunky--a great combination! Your comments and responses back and forth make for great reading. Cyndy
ReplyDeleteHi Cyndy,
ReplyDeleteI am sure my mom will really appreciate that; she thinks she's just hilarious.
You're adding fuel to the fire!!!! ;-)