Lately I’ve realized I grate my teeth during my drive to work. Matt says I do it while asleep, too. I think this means something.
My dear friend who had a pitiful time in her 20’s and now is experiencing some semblance of enlightenment at 31 told me I should practice mindfulness (this is after I said a strong “NO” to meditation – I guess I’m not all that granola). I know nothing about Buddhism except the Dalai Lama is one jolly guy (isn’t he?!), but she told me it’s being completely in-tune with our body and consciousness, and not thinking of other things – simply being in the moment. I tried this on the drive home from our dinner together, but all I could think about was, “Is Parks and Recreation new tonight?” and, “I can’t wait to use my new carrot cream that came in the mail from The Body Shop” (fo’ real, people – this is what my life consists of….carrot cream and sitcoms).
Then I took Penny for a walk and said, “Don’t think about work, don’t think about work!” but in turn, I was thinking about work. Then I took a shower and thought, “Shower…mmm…nice, hot, sudsy”. I was taking this very literally, as you can tell. Then I realized I was missing “30 Rock” – damn television foiled me again!
So much for mindfulness.
Then I decided that the perfect thing to calm me to create a sanctuary. Naturally, I cleaned my bedroom for the first time in months – at that point, I was already 90% there. I also splurged on a jarred peach candle from Target and applied more carrot cream. (I think by this point, you should really be intrigued by this carrot cream, so here’s the link: http://www.thebodyshop-usa.com/sale-originals/prod1031251 I used to save up my money in high school and buy this stuff, and I know this sounds super hokey, but it brings back memories of simpler times…really).
I think the point is, I’ve been trying to really tune-in to what I do have, instead of what I don’t. It’s a whole lot of “duh”, I know, but I’m finding it works, or at the very least plugs the holes in the boat so I’m not full-fledged drowning here. The weather is also helping tremendously: I am happier when it’s sunny. I’m a very simple being, it seems. This weekend is supposed to be nearing 80 (80!) and saturated in sun. My Crohn’s? Controlled for now. The baby thing? Sigh, trudging along – but I’m now determined to calm down (well, a bit) and enjoy our (semi) quiet life. Things could definitely be worse.