2 Months Unemployed - Whaaa??!!??!!!

This will be me...soon enough!

You know you reached a whole new level of "total lazy ass" when you complain about having to run errands two days in a row and thus have to put on normal clothes (sans holes, stains...or most likely both), brush your hair, and put a lick of mascara and balm on. Because that, my friends, is just too much damn effort. At this point Matt is lucky if I dust the crumbs off my sweatshirt. Scratch that: he's lucky if I'm wearing a different sweatshirt than I wore the day before. And the day before that. And yes, I'm gonna say it: the day before that. Weep for him.

I'm not doing well with unemployment. As much as a clock-watcher I was while working, my house has become an insufferable prison. I have long conversations with Penny. (I swear, I am not being cutesy.) I argue with her about totally humanoid topics while she wearily chews her bone. Today we had a frank discussion about the Bin Laden death photos, which I was against releasing. Penny, as misguided as she is, disagreed. When you're having fake conversations with your dog you know you need to get out more.

Today, like an adult, I attended to my previous 401(k) and moved it into an IRA. I spoke to real humans at Vanguard and went to the bank for a change-of-name guarantor signature. I felt good about this. It was a very adult thing to do (more adult than talking to your dog, at least). Matt has been pestering me for the last two months to call our insurance company to inquire about life insurance. I figure one adult thing a day is enough and - if he's lucky - I'll tackle this tomorrow.

This Friday I'm having friends over for a potluck, which I couldn't be happier about. Another week and I would have ended up all Nell-like in this vacant house. Then Saturday Matt and I are volunteering at the annual Crohn's walk. I'm sure there will be a lot of humans there, which will be good for me. One friend said I should volunteer somewhere, and another said to take a class at the local community college. I keep putting all of this off because I'm under the delusion I'm going to get a job. Really, really soon. I swear!

Until then, excuse me, as Penny and I need to have a heart-to-heart regarding the amounts of dog fur she's leaving all over the house. I tell ya, someone's not earning their keep!