Here Goes

It’s been a whirlwind week of doctor visits and medications, phone calls and directions. Tomorrow I will be going in for our egg retrieval / beginning of fertilization process. We have 15 viable follicles, which is excellent – given my age I responded well to the medication. For once, my body totally kicked ass!

I’m honestly much more anxious for this than my re-sectioning surgery last spring. Once that decision was made, I was at peace. We have so many hopes and “what if’s” this time around coupled with finite chances. I’m trying to temper my optimism because what if I wake up tomorrow and I learn my eggs are duds? Or many of my follicle sacks were empty? Or things aren’t fertilizing well? It’s hard to make yourself have low expectations – frankly, I think it’s a bit futile because I was eyeing cribs at Target this week and dreaming up nursery layouts, all in a hazy baby bubble in aisle 14.

What will be, will be. I know we’ll make it through it, whatever the outcome. It’s actually nice to go through this during the holiday season: High spirits? Hope and joy? Sounds just about right.