So You've Been to Canada, Eh?

I am all about the cheese (both literally and figuratively), so of course I had to vacation in Niagara Falls, the capital of cheesy romantic getaways. So, for our two year anniversary, we hopped in the Corolla and made the 7-hour journey to the Falls for a long weekend of lust and romance. And by “lust and romance” I mean goofy attractions and a heck of a lot of water. Here are the highlights of our foray into the great Canadian yonder:

NOTE: There are a lot of photos of Matt. Sorry, he's just my only live subject so I abuse the heck outta him.

I did the drive up and was hearing an odd sound for what may or may not have been three hours – I cannot confirm nor deny. Pulling over we realized Matt’s packaging tape quick-fix of a few months back was not holding up, and a part of the front bumper was loose and hitting the wheel. Oops. Luckily, I pulled over in a drugstore parking lot and headed right in to the stationary aisle and bought – you guessed it – packaging tape. Don’t worry: I splurged and bought the name brand stuff. Even said “high performance” on it so I think we’re good-to-go.

At a toll booth we spotted a tell-tale sign of any car trip: the Ghostbusters car. It was from there we knew this trip was going to be a success.

We made it to the falls! Upon seeing them for the first time, I sniffed, “They aren’t so big.” Then I told Matt I’m hungry and let’s hit up the Indian food cart down the street while doing a dorky thumbs up. That’s how I roll.

I made Matt carry our backpack because I'm lazy. Due to this, he had a perpetual hunchback as we were given ponchos at each attraction. But isn't he a doll?

Here's Matt with his nerd-idol, Nikola Tesla. Matt positively hates Marconi because he stole Tesla's thunder. If you don't understand that statement, good, you're not a nerd.

This was our favorite part of the trip: the "Hurricane Zone". We got drenched under the Bridal Veil Falls. Note: Do not wear mascara to the Hurricane Zone.

This is Matt deep in thought while on Maid of the Mist. Or, he's thinking, "I have to pee." You know, either/or, tomato/tomaato.

LEFT: This is the view from our hotel room. We're definitely more of the Motel 6 crowd (read: cheap) but we splurged and got this room over the Horseshoe Falls. It also had a jacuzzi, which Matt (no lie) watched the Flyers game out of.

RIGHT: This is Matt using the shoe polisher in the room. This is how you know you're in a fancy place. (You also know you don't belong in a fancy place when it takes five minutes to determine that, yes, that contraption is indeed a show polisher.)

This is on the shore of Lake Ontario. And no, I didn't put him up to this pose.

You know what 19th-century British military impersonators are? HOT. This is right after a musket lesson at Fort George.

Then we went to a winery. It was sort of pretentious (aren't all wineries?) so this is Matt contemplating if we should steal ripe cherries of their trees. Because we bought a bottle of wine, I said we were absolutely in the right and we stole a few handfuls for the drive.

After that we went to the botanical gardens and butterfly conservatory. Matt stood still like that for a good 10 minutes but no butterflies would land on him. Then I stood behind a hot pink hairy tree and demanded Matt take my picture.

Finally, a butterfly did land on him. But it was stuffed. And in the gift shop.

This photo speaks for itself. (And, we were, without a doubt, wide awake in the Land of Dreams.)

Tim Hortons is to Canada what Dunkin' Donuts is to America. And because we like fatty donuts, we hit it up. And took a silly photo. Obviously.

On the drive home we went to the Corning Museum of Glass in New York and made our own glass-blown ornaments. By "made", I mean, "sat there and blew as instructed". Anyway, here's Matt doing his thing in the studio.

My original commentary for these photos has disappeared, and I can only blame Matt, as our ornaments came in the mail two days ago and he was angered at the pure beauty of mine.  Regardless,my ornament is the first one, and Matt's is below.  Although his may look better, trust me, it's not.  His subpar camera skills are at play, here, and I'll post true comparisons shortly.  I will triumph!!!

Here are our finished ornaments. Mine is to the right and Matt's is below. I know what you're thinking: "Matt's is prettier." But I think you're mistaken. I obviously took a better photo of his, and he took the photo of mine, so you're really assessing our photography skills. And that boy can't work my Kodak. (Note: That guy is totally thinking, "Losers." And it's a pretty acurate assessment.)

The end!